I have this stomach flu that's got me in this state of inebriated being without the benefit of the drinking part, and the initial feeling like a million bucks part. Yet, I sag in my chair and hope for a hairy dog to bite me, or...
I have just found myself on the floor, and unsure why I'm down here. Am I looking for my wine contacts or have I been getting my beers served to me here all the time? Luckily, I have my beer googles that will help me search for them.
PLEASE READ my RhymeCrime screed below of the November versions. Then email my attorney to find out how much money he will be exacting from you for copyright infringing or copy & pasting my immensely unique and densely oblique non-given-of-freewill offerings...
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*ALL OF NOVEMBER Below
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Gotten this life down–Merely played the clown?
Now I see a frown–Tears better not drown!
Cry in my #beer renown–then #wine & Triple Crown.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) December 1, 2013
Today I local shopped–Now credit card chopped:
Then toward #beers hopped & to music bopped;
While rhyme may've flopped–None have yet topped!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 30, 2013
I just don't care–Life won't be fair!
But I now want my share–It's my night to blare!
Serve my #beer right there & fine #wine w/ steak rare!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 30, 2013
I'm thankful for–what I love more & more:
New #Food & from before–#Beer in fridge door;
#Wine racked below floor–#Family who I much+ adore!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 28, 2013
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PROMOS
=============
DIY+FYI: Done writin' time–now serving #RhymeCrime!
AM Sentenced https://t.co/GZ24mDyDeH
YesterPM #beer & #wine type https://t.co/ScU3fVxc65
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 25, 2013
DIM: Done write time–now serve #RhymeCrime!
JesterAM Sentenced https://t.co/LKLjxbHFmp
YesterPM #beer & #wine type https://t.co/aPnWckkQ7a
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 26, 2013
I dun did my rite thyme–now servin' #RhymeCrime!
JesterAM Sentenced https://t.co/LKLjxbHFmp
YesterPM #beer & #winer https://t.co/aPnWckkQ7a
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 26, 2013
In 30min@10PM it's another impalement of the #beer & #wine type hype of #RhymeCrime!
Extra special Boogies Nights version
or not...
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 28, 2013
In 30min@10PM, I unleash the next #beer & #wine impalement of #RhymeCrime!
You must read it to believe it! (Or drink the cool-ade!)
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 23, 2013
In 30min@10PM, it's the #beer & #wine version of my #RhymeCrime.
Fear not, for I've done the writing time, you just read my character mime.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 26, 2013
I'm thankful for–what I love more & more:
New #Food & from before–#Beer in fridge door;
#Wine racked below floor–#Family who I much+ adore!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 28, 2013
I'm thankful for–what I love more & more:
New #Food & from before–#Beer in fridge door;
#Wine racked below floor–#Family who I much+ adore!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 28, 2013
In 30Min@10PM I mix in some hard #liquor* with my next impalement of the #beer & #wine version of #RhymeCrime!
*not a product placemat.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) December 1, 2013
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END of this round of PROMOS
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Consider it all–Why do we fall?
Gravity causes the sprawl–Ever enter a dancehall?
After many a #beer were tall or #wine bottle #s got small!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 28, 2013
It's 1 of those daze–Looking 4 needling in haze.
Moon in its quarterly rays–Owls give up sum praise.
Mind set ablaze–or else I won't amaze.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 27, 2013
I put away mouse & drink #beer in the house!
Landlord does grouse as knock #wine on blouse.
Yes she's his spouse–But I'm a fictitious louse.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 27, 2013
Fun is decided by a sum of all #beers & rum!
Glory to be a beach bum–Hitchhiker in 1960s by thumb!
Hanging with your chum–never to be glum!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 26, 2013
=============
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— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 23, 2013
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Had a moping day–Keep stewing this way?
End abuse valet–James, I say!
Pour me a craft #beer near the bay or glass of #wine w/a fine bouquet!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 26, 2013
Morning began dull–So listened to Jethro Tull.
From lyrics did cull–sitting on bench w/seagull.
Then did mull–but it just hurt in my skull.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 25, 2013
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SPECIAL GUEST RETWEET
RT @winewankers: LOL! I hope y'all drinking lots of #wine !! http://t.co/U1Lkecw8pL pic.twitter.com/4nVS7czlJ0
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 25, 2013
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PROMOS
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Done my write time–now serving #RhymeCrime!
JesterAM Sentenced https://t.co/YZf1qv719l
YesterPM #beer & #wine penned https://t.co/Uanwj9EpNK
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 23, 2013
In 30min@10PM, I unleash the next #beer & #wine impalement of #RhymeCrime!
You must read it to believe it! (Or drink the cool-ade!)
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 23, 2013
In 30min @ 10PM it's RTC #RhymeCrime!
It's where I incorporate #wine & #beer into a story of indomitable or abominable or abdominal cheer!?!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 1, 2013
In 30min@10PM, it's next impalement of #beer & #wine serving of #RhymeCrime!
Check the Penal Code, but this time I may be @ overload!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 22, 2013
DIY: Done write time–now serving #RhymeCrime!
JesterAM Sentenced https://t.co/EwDrzOIM4L
YesterPM #beer & #wine type https://t.co/Zvp4PH1RHP
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 24, 2013
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End of this Round of Promos
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Abe, Martin & John–Bobby's also gone.
Life's a fragile fawn–We're not owed the dawn.
So drink #beer, grill prawn–sip #wine w/my bud Dr.Kahn.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 25, 2013
No I never pay–But why a game play?
Told to stay–Then each 1 slipped away.
Not real friends it does convey–So who's buying my #drinks today?
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 24, 2013
Almost a singer–but a soul wringer.
My Elvis a King err–OK chorale lyric slinger.
#Beer drinkers gave me finger–Many a #wine bottle flinger!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 24, 2013
Keep hands free-otherwise power takeoff fee!
My dog scratch @ flea–soon @ #market me!
Morning means much #glee–singing w/choral group on TV!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 23, 2013
It's time that I exclaim–exactly my aim,
using a pen name–that it is a shame
I must stop a #beer drinking game–to sip #wine w/a grande dame!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 23, 2013
Great ideas come in bunches & I've had hunches.
Often during #lunches–even early brunches.
Many from spike punches–But no need 4$# crunches.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 22, 2013
Spoke words I spoke–Laugh w/buds after toke.
About munchies crack joke–My art's genius stroke.
Need a #beer B4 choke or #wine 2 palate soak!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 22, 2013
Given any thought–Why you've wrought;
Many #characters taut & briar deeply fraught;
Wherein this patch it's got by a tale twisted in a knot?
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 21, 2013
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PROMO for Following Tweet
In just 4min@10PM–the #beer & #wine version of #RhymeCrime!
Written in 5.38min–a whirled record, spun round & round until totally unsound!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 21, 2013
Give me 1 reason why–My rhymes don't fly!
They can be sold@Best Buy–Amazing #beer drunk wry!
What great #wine did ply–They make women sigh!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 21, 2013
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The way 2go–onward w/ the flow>
Yet it seems so slow–now there's an undertow!
Get on the barrel of #beer Joe–using my #wine bottle I'll row!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 20, 2013
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PROMOS
Finished writing time–now up this river 2 #RhymeCrime!
AM Sentenced https://t.co/zexDJDyzTS
Last 10PM #beer & #wine https://t.co/6GJcvEJSRc
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 21, 2013
I dun da writin' time–now uze get serfed the #RhymeCrime!
AM Sentenced https://t.co/pBgwIYl0eS
PM #beer & #wine type https://t.co/U8on24IY5Y
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 20, 2013
In 30min, it's the #beer & #wine version of #RhymeCrime! I promise it'll be a special thyme. Rosémary even thinks sublime! Thanks Ms. #wine!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 20, 2013
Did the writing time now serving the #RhymeCrime!
AM today: https://t.co/c8DooNdxck
Last 10PM #beer & #wine version: https://t.co/6N0kD4kcGE
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 18, 2013
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End of this Round of Promos
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The earth did spin–the day can begin. Work 2help others 4a win-win–it's worth a gallon of #gin! Last1 may be a sin–yet fills my rhyming bin.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 18, 2013
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PROMO for Following Tweet
In 30min, it's the #beer and #wine version of #RhymeCrime! I promise it will be a special thyme. Rosemary even thinks sublime! Thanks Rose!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 18, 2013
Where do we go from here? Our fave bar to get a #beer!
Sip #wine while laughing w/my dear–All brings me cheer!
It's my sphere–I feel a tear.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 18, 2013
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I've a guiding light–bestowing vast insight,
Powers my great might–So I win any fight,
No, I've not been forthright–Truly I'm full of shite.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 17, 2013
The #wine & #beer flow–We dance toe to toe.
Our world swings to & fro–soon she will go.
My love has another Beau–I Geste that I didn't know!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 17, 2013
When others stand still–we feel a chill.
As minds grind in a gin up mill–Voices turn shrill.
Swallow their bitter pill or Unite idea refill!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 16, 2013
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— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 14, 2013
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Need lover who won't mind me lazy or look@me crazy.
Loves me #beer hazy=Full country as Daisy.
Sips #wine during Scorsese–No ache 2 tase me!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 16, 2013
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PROMO for Following Tweet
My Special OK AM #RhymeCrime coming up in 5min. What I wrote today is somewhat (aka totally) non-sensical–but includes botched fairy tales.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 15, 2013
Pox on all louses–Reeboks found in hen houses!
Who mocks grouses or docks mouses?
Goldilocks wears threadbare blouses–Fox in Levi Strausses!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 15, 2013
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PROMOS
Had pen thyme? Preps 4 judge mental part of reading #RhymeCrime
Today https://t.co/ufm5dbT9Pg
11/13's #beer & #wine https://t.co/9HqxdeIBmK
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 14, 2013
Ever done thyme? A judge mental part of reading #RhymeCrime
Today https://t.co/ufm5dbT9Pg
Last night's #beer & #wine https://t.co/9HqxdeIBmK
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 14, 2013
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End of this Round of Promos
=============
I want to be calm–But where's the balm?
Some say read psalm–You may also raise palm.
It's likely a lack of aplomb–I'll train with Van Damme!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 14, 2013
My dining was grate–cheese all over plate!
Cajun hottie my dinner date or maybe I conflate?
Yet the #beer was fate–Sipping #wine is my mate.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 14, 2013
Gotta get in the zone–How about a groan?
I live on a lot alone–with a grazing motley roan!
Fighting Irish not Cyclone–My rhymes be cornpone!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 13, 2013
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EXTRA!! EXTRA!!
Bar I stopped in at Sweden, the bar has same name as my mom's namesake, O'Connell!
Cool 2 have followers worldwide. While not much of globe trotter–I did some recently. Stopped @ #Irish pub @swedense pic.twitter.com/QXgcZsS4ay
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 13, 2013
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This is a game–What a shame!
"Why are you all aflame?" You're a bad poet grabbing 4 fame!
Who sips #wine so tame–& drinks #beer that's lame!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 13, 2013
Great times are found–I want 2 gain that ground!
But I'm never around–I've always clowned:
Am I too tightly wound? Yet today–I will astound!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 12, 2013
I need restarts–Life of bit parts:
Drinking #beer throwing lawn darts–Sipping #wine w/tempter tarts;
Be how disunion starts? Wink lark arts!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 12, 2013
All I knew was known–Yet my mind is not my own.
My bank account is blown–To each I ask for loan.
Will I ever atone? No–I just can't condone!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 11, 2013
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PROMO for following RhymeCrime
In 30min@10PM another impalement of RTC's #RhymeCrime:
It's the #beer & #wine version. The Rap Sheet thick & dim, don't miss my next dictum!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 11, 2013
Back from celebration–served meal sensation.
Brat & #beer standing ovation–#Wine also w/invitation.
Few made conversation–I added animation. — Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 11, 2013
Think I've a noon glow? "Guess I wouldn't know."
Never meant 2 put on a show–You know that's not so!?
You mean I'm all ego? "Seems apropos."
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 10, 2013
Think I've a noon glow? "Guess I wouldn't know."
Never meant 2 put on a show–You know that's not so!?
You mean I'm all ego? "Seems apropos."
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 10, 2013
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PROMO
Time for RTC's #RhymeCrime Dope Slap Feat, Rap Sheet!
Tonight's #beer & #wine https://t.co/dfyuB5Z89F
Earlier Today https://t.co/SzPQFYIjYs
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 11, 2013
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Wife will #wine partake @ http://t.co/Gk1AIipABa deer hunt widows wake.
Her sis hub hunts whitetail drake–I only hunt #beer so my dear fake.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 10, 2013
Try 2b funny w/my time–in all its rhyme:
I call it a crime b/c it hasn't made me a dime;
Yet 2b coined isn't prime–even if I ka-ching chime!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 9, 2013
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EXTRA TWEET
My Daughter's Peace Project
@UReflections My daughter made this stone, plus her recently "old room" has #peace signs all over it. pic.twitter.com/6eLheWtlCf
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 22, 2013
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When have I lied–how much have I cried?
Questions I'd not want applied–think so tongue tied!
Put #wine or #beer inside–then little I'd hide!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 9, 2013
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PROMOS
In 30min@10PM it's my pièce de résistance (a bit that should be in restraints) commonly known as the #beer & #wine version of #RhymeCrime!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 9, 2013
Review last two #RhymeCrime versions:
This, poets mourn: https://t.co/DqAnqeidkq
Last night, my love: https://t.co/8O3yTwwjZg
New One@10PM
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 9, 2013
Yes, sadly, called #RhymeCrime by da tractors:
Droll me over a barrel: https://t.co/DqAnqeidkq
Kiss planting smarmy: https://t.co/8O3yTwwjZg
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 9, 2013
Often called #RhymeCrime by duh... tractors...
A "poetry" just plow me: https://t.co/DqAnqeidkq
Kiss up planter: https://t.co/8O3yTwwjZg
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 9, 2013
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End of this Round of Promos
=============
Being funny is hard–actually an old canard:
But iAm a pastime card–virtually full of BS & lard.
Now a dissed bard who's psychically scarred.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 8, 2013
No1 quite like u–True love slake my heart Sue!
Poor me wear no J.Crew–Pour us a brew;
Often it's craft #beer so never blue or #wine in lieu!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 8, 2013
Enjoying a dream & drop out a seam:
Vault over a team–bounce on a pommel horse downstream;
Just 2 slip on a balance beam & gasp 4 a scream!?
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 7, 2013
Usually of great cheer–obviously it's post many a #beer!
And often I fear–no #wine is here!
Am I being clear? No worry–I'll have the steer.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 7, 2013
Missed early rhyme by much–Yet this b such:
Did #lunch w/Starsky & Hutch–So was out of touch;
Friends in the clutch–famous_yet we pay dutch!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 7, 2013
Election nearing-now past@so long last;
Wonton violins ballads cast–Tasteless puns can lambast:
Luckily #beer is amassed & #wine is glassed!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 6, 2013
Give me 1 reason 2stay here–Except a crocodile tear:
Now I see clear–Won't make change2 near;
I need real #beer or a glass of #wine 2 cheer!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 5, 2013
Morning does dawn–arise after many a yawn.
Eat breakfast as mind eggs on–fearing what tweets may spawn.
Who'll be my pawn? OK–I've no brawn.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 4, 2013
If everyday went my way–what would it convey?
4Me it'd say–I'm in a bar or chalet:
Internalizing #beer's cachet–Drinking in #wine's bouquet!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 4, 2013
Give 1 reason 2go #near–Just make me change my #beer!
I've no fear–Mine rocks unlike the alcohol clear,
& it provides cheer–I'll never veer!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 3, 2013
One is Steven, Two is even:
What could you believe in? Jet plane leave in?
Finding a tipping #beers haven! Drinking #wine playing Beethoven!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 3, 2013
Take what you will–I've had my fill.
No I don't have a still–Not a big #brewers shill!
Well you're sure are a pill–How about you just chill.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 2, 2013
=============PROMO
The #RhymeCrime's a unique beast & beau jest:
Ill Mourn Rhyme: https://t.co/i6z3QnIPtw
Wang Jung 2NiteNotLite #Beer: https://t.co/FfFAKKNQVL
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 2, 2013
=============
The night is Jung–hanging out among,
individual #wine lovers unsung~using palate & tongue;
#beer fellows ex stung–gals being new guys swung!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 2, 2013
The night is Jung–hanging out among,
individual #wine lovers unsung~using palate & tongue;
#beer fellows ex stung–gals being new guys swung!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 2, 2013
Met a perky ghost–the #breakfast diner host.
Demi she did boast–what do I want most?
Winked saying french toast–back-ham-handed her riposte!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) November 1, 2013
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