RhymeCrime Troops March, Uniforms Stiff Of Starch, This Poet's Lips Parched, English Majors' Bows Arched

I've assembled another month of RhymeCrime! Meet Ms. March. Please be gentle (Unless they suck, then she is responsible, and not me! Of course, when am I ever responsible? Except when drinking… alone.)

Produced, reduced, seduced, and induced by RTC, that's me!

Each day opens anew–fresh Irish #whiskey stew! As #lunch comes into view–sum #martinis accrue… As night appears #beers do–then #wines queue!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) April 1, 2014

Please don't prolong–Keep me strong! No more #selfies in a thong & tweeting tings wong! Stop my rap in its sing song–It does bang that gong!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 31, 2014

Meet Molly in this video: Then Donate http://t.co/bCc8H3QF0S In 2012@ the age of 16 she had a stroke. My sister, a teacher, has worked...
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 28, 2014

What do I stand for? Not being such a bore… yapping about yore or spreading BS lore: But buy much #beer to pour & enough #wine @ the store!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 31, 2014

See the light shine–Be #unafraid to opine. Your life refine–Stop toeing the line. Give the go ahead sign–Mature the #enlightenment vine! RTC
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 30, 2014

Have a great night–Give yourself the right! Sing songs of bird flight–Rip on friend Dwight… Drink #beer as recite a #wine list he'd delight!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 30, 2014

Do tasks to receive–Tell lies to deceive. Work hard to achieve–Plagiarize to idea thieve. For one to believe in success w/o #luck is naive.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 29, 2014

Life is now so clear I raise a loud cheer! Yet my BS wind be sheer–Then may be my end's near?! Pour me #beers & much #wine to shed all fear!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 29, 2014

Prep 4 the bugs–Grilling w/ #beer in mugs! Giving nature hugs–Hiking w/ a stroller of pugs! Running to boost natural drugs & beat NSA thugs!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 28, 2014

Once a day's done–I've annoyed twits with a #pun… It's not that fun–From them I must run! So #beer drinking's begun & I begin the #wine son.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 28, 2014

Tomorrow comes too soon–A song I often #croon… It's a #grates fully rough hewn–Making girls cocoon… I'm such a goon–So I cry on my day tune.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 27, 2014

OMG I stubbed my toe…Luckily I only said WHOA! To the ER I go…They said absolutely NO! So hand me a #beer Moe! And #wine for some afterglow!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 27, 2014

Crossing The Rube of Cons Line Between Felony Poet Robbery & Ice Cold #Beer & Subtly Supple #Wine…#RhymeCrime Snobbery… 10PM Tonight Here!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 27, 2014

You are udder no usurpation to dupe this woe but may as well gorge on #RhymeCrime show. http://t.co/UrPI92kafa @YborCityWineBar @shockthomas
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 27, 2014

Nothing makes right–OK I'm just uptight… Yet I need my own plight & must #reality fight! I like to shun #insight & err on the side of might…
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 26, 2014

Live as bystander–Position assume of philander? Speak mostly slander–dodder & meander? I #beer up like a Highlander & sip #wine as Lysander!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 26, 2014

Breaking new ground–A totally #unique sound… The beat will pound–Now begins to #confound… Probably can't rebound–An idea wholly unwound… :-/
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 25, 2014

My world hasn't been kind–So keep me in mind… As solace I find after much I've opined… Now having #beer to unwind & #wine till I'm declined!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 25, 2014

I've much to say–Though I'd rather play… Either mode I do sway–You can make my day… End my vacillation #ballet–No…I've got #beer on layaway!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 24, 2014

If creativity's fully spent–Mind ironically bent… Talisman clothes all rent–head to wall makes dent… #Beer helps vent & #wine calms ferment!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 24, 2014

New 1@10PM–but now revisit the scene of last night's #beer & #wine typed #RhymeCrime! https://t.co/ol1m0brQUF @IleanaHSnyder …@CraftBeerAcad
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 24, 2014

My #RhymeCrime is not meant to benefit society…sometimes it just twerks out that way: New One@10PM See you dare? @joshingstern @slashcoleman
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 24, 2014

Hard to fathom the place–But I must face… A deep dark space & real tough case… Also a dense fear to embrace–My #mind of knowledge so debase.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 23, 2014

I'm a self styled genus–Man w/a Marred Venus… Now living in Salinas–Working@ Bar Bar Russ Heinous… #Beer mugs clean us & #wine sips B minus!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 23, 2014

KNOW MORE WINE! The grapevine produces a sustenance…Don't you love that word?! Of course…SUSTENANCE does sound even better paired w/ #WINE!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 22, 2014

Shine #insight on them–Ideologues must condemn… Lacking brain stem–Much spewed is phlegm… Stagnant ideas that hem–Merely gloss on glass gem!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 22, 2014

What's he sowing–Where's she going? But snow's blowing & no one's hoeing… It's a hopping #beer garden crowd growing & there's #wine flowing!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 22, 2014

This TGIF #weekend–frivolity time must defend! A basic #right I contend–Our will can't bend! Whom do I email send? The BofR #Congress amend!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 21, 2014

Things happen for a reason–When in Season… Except this heathen who covets #beer pure Artesian, food of Gods Polynesian & #wines of Venetian!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 21, 2014

#Food is my life–Otherwise there's strife. Meat to cut with knife–Cheese to grate on Wife. Grilling till fire is rife–Living as Barney Fife!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 20, 2014

A wallet that's not fatter–Will never flatter… But it don't matter–So why am I sadder? Then #beer til fills bladder & #wine to make gladder!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 20, 2014

#Hunger does abound–Where GDP always astound… Turn things around–#Food not by morsel but pound! You who confound–#Congress so tightly wound!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 19, 2014

Creatively I broke the bank–My thinker to tank… I need 2 crank–but I'll barely fill the blank! It's not #beers I've drank or #wine to thank!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 19, 2014

It gets more imposing–Daily #rhyme decomposing… Tougher always dozing–My recliner's so reposing! To stop eyes closing–Try cold #mind hosing!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 18, 2014

Where can I put my hammock? RT^@jackgorman: Orcas Island, WA, #USA #travel #photography 09/07 http://t.co/nhf8tYHK5s
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 18, 2014

Let good times roll & it took big toll. So sold my soul–But no tell devil I'm #Irish+Pole… Now sip green #beer on knoll & #wine from Troll!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 18, 2014

@MNBeerActivists make it plain–End #SundaySalesMN arcane! #MNLeg holds ye chain–A leftover reign… Your grip does wane–Turn Off yore abstain!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 17, 2014

You take my road–I write a woe ode… Keep highbrow mowed–I tend to sheepish & goad… Right our #beer bar code! I compute #wine cases sum node…
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 17, 2014

No more In-law MMA tourney–Settle w/their attorney! Get off gurney–Begin #movie journey… See JB's Bernie & "My lip's bleeding, Bert" +Ernie!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 17, 2014

Tonight's manifesto–Gin up gusto! To loaf dining on pasta w/pesto made by #Chef Ernesto! Now #beer needed presto–Next all #wine in #Modesto!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 16, 2014

Must unearth the #write word for Tweeting from a blue bird. One I've heard in a tirade absurd. On a podcast I incurred–Help a whirred #nerd!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 15, 2014

Save the day to use all in play! What did my boss say…I can hit the highway? Then it's #beer for pay & a case of #wine will the rest defray!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 15, 2014

I had a conundrum so I drank much coconut #rum… See I broke my green thumb…pulling out a pied plum! Why I look so glum…or my face is #numb?!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 14, 2014

All's cool…dude. So how am I a tool? Not what I said fool! Oh…like I flunked BS school?! Have a #beer…they rule! No…sip #wine by White Mule!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 14, 2014

There is no tomorrow–whether buy keg or borrow. #Irish luck is sorrow–I've known Thoreau… So parade on the borough–Eat Mexican food fare oh!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 13, 2014

Thank the almighty…free@last–Has that time passed? Would he be aghast@the unease amassed? Let's lift #beer glassed & sip #wine w/o lambaste!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 13, 2014

What becomes of US–Taken by a climate felony bus? Rising oceans seize thus–Left to gnash&cuss? Opposers nonplus–We must form a better truss!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 12, 2014

KNOW MORE WINE! Why do I drink lots of #wine? A probing inquiry…well By accident I hid a guy's semi full of it in a shed deep in the woods.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 12, 2014

Everything in its place or staring off in space? A life bald on its face–Reality, not my home base… Need #beer to embrace or #wine to chase!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 12, 2014

So a big break does occur–Life can be a blur. Tomrrw we can't insure–Even if all call me sir… Yet I've all this #liquor & a great chauffeur!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 11, 2014

I'm nearly the best–Even you may attest! Just very blessed in my life as a #pest… +#beer drinking helps me in jest & #wine uncorks the rest!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 11, 2014

Seen this short line–#Written so fine? It's like a heaven type sign–Then it must be #divine! So it couldn't be #mine–Yet how can I decline?!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 10, 2014

Anchor me in the whirled–As my life's unfurled… Whether roundly twirled or so far hurled… Grant me craft #beer curled & local #wine swirled!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 10, 2014

When #daylight came–I wasn't the same. A #hour had come up lame–who was I to blame? Then I #savored in shame–It's a #springy forward's game!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 9, 2014

Spread the good news–Everything comes in twos! Start playing blues–Begin tapping brews! Bottoms up craft #beer debuts & drink #wine in pews!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 9, 2014

KNOW MORE #BEER! Everyone thinks drinking is for adults. Well. It is! Yet, I do confuse since I drink beer from a sippy cup (curbs guzzling)
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 8, 2014

Let today find its place–No worrying an erase. #Spring ahead do embrace–Soon winter has no trace. Give life its space–More #highs less base.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 8, 2014

Tonight no sinner–Fish fry dinner! Brat@lunch winner but not caught w/spinner… Saved by #beer w/Pope beginner+Nun #wine habits of BFSkinner!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 8, 2014

Message about #massage–Time for its triage. A week under barrage–Abandoned by entourage. Hiding in corner of garage–staring@ a blank mirage.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 7, 2014

KNOW MORE BEER! Know the difference between on & off sale #beer? I did@1 point but realized I no longer drink in can dense scent light buds.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 7, 2014

KNOW MORE WINE! The idea that some wear in the stratus fear is someone who is a frayed of #wine is totally licorice! Know More Wine for you!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 6, 2014

A day did dawn–@ night curtains drawn. Hide a mind so gone–Fearful a ham hock's hung on my lawn. Again plagued like a pawn–I never catch on!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 6, 2014

Composed for so long–A new sad song: About a life gone wrong…Years playing Pong! Danced #beer barrel in a thong & #wine bottle banged gong!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 6, 2014

I always want, need, must believe that! RT @BoulderBeerCo: It's a beautiful day for a #BEER! … http://t.co/PqMgwhpmcp
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 5, 2014

Take the low road–Live as a big load. Try licking a toad–Act in a common mode. Follow the status quo code–Let the #future forebode… OR NOT!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 5, 2014

Save your money OK–Spending it won't pay! Give it all away–Go outside to play… Except let #wine drinking defray & #beer fatten this Tuesday!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 5, 2014

A body shaken & soul forsaken… How then do I awaken? Not filling my tummy w/#bacon… Unless that course is untaken by my friend the Jamaican.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 4, 2014

KNOW MORE BEER! Have you drank #beer before? Well, expand your horizons! Drink beer after as well! I also drink during… but I’m a pro.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 4, 2014

Today a byte lost–what is the cost? A few tweets tossed–Some stress embossed… Yet #beer helped me defrost & the #wine has me lightly sauced!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 4, 2014

KNOW MORE BEER! Isn’t it clear by now… Well, not dark #beer. But, my point is there be many ways to know beer & this isn't carnival knowing.
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 4, 2014

Joke fest beg–Not about Brady Greg! Actor who breaks a leg–An English good #egg… As we responsibly empty a keg–Laughs rolled by @SimonPegg!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 3, 2014

Transcend the fear–Overturn the status quo steer. Out think the austere–Transfer to a new frontier! And from here–our #future becomes clear…
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 3, 2014

A day’s just begun–No chance for any to run… I may get away w/this one–You know I hate to pun… Here comes the son–A judge of payment to dun!
— Wines And Gardens (@WineAndGarden) March 1, 2014